Being a mom is the truest of joys.
Halt! Wait. Stop.
Let’s get real. Being a mom is a true joy, yes, but the image that pops into my head when perfectly dressed and manicured moms who have it all together, say something like that makes me sick. to my stomach.
If not yet apparent, yes, I have a problem with the false expectation of what being a mom looks like. Today especially women are under a lot of scrutinies with all the mom and parenting shaming that goes on.
Don’t get me wrong, some women seem to have it all together. They indulge in self-care, they eat right, work out every day, wear perfectly pressed clothing, their nails are done weekly, their hair is perfectly colored and cut, their house is clean and smells good, their kids are on vegan, organic diets and their husbands work 40 hours a week and make $300,000 a year.
For the rest of us, the 99%, that is far from the truth… and here is the lowdown.
While being a mom is very different for all of us based on our lifestyle choices, our socio-economic status and just by design, being a mom is no easy feat.
Being a mom is a constant slew of choices. every. single moment. of. every. single. day.
A typical day for moms begins with taking care of everyone else’s needs. ‘At what time do I need to be up to have time to review Sally’s homework for school, pack her lunch, make sure her tennis practice shorts are washed and dried and her bag packed.’ Making sure Marc’s big science project didn’t fall apart overnight and fit it in the car all the kids wake up and Jacob reals it while playing ball in the house on his way to the dining table for breakfast. Making sure there’s enough milk for everyone’s cereal, that the dishwasher ran last night so there’s clean dishes for everyone.. Wheeeww!! I wish that was all a typical morning looked like for moms… that’s just a nice little picture of a morning when things go as planned… but, what about all the stuff other moms don’t tell you? The things that being a mom involves in day to day life?
Though the list of things no one tells you before you become a mom could be never ending, here are the things I wish I’d known:
1. You will NEVER sleep again.
Let me explain. When your kids are small, let’s say, until they’re about six, you’re in one way or another up assisting them in their sleep routines and in their middle of the night needs and requests. Afterward, you don’t sleep because they’re somehow trying to stay up doing something they’re not supposed to… and then you’re up all night waiting for them to come he from being out with friends.. and then they move out and you worry all night about whether they made it hole safely. So, yeah, you’ll never sleep again.
2. You need a back up top or outfit. Always.
That one folks, is pretty self explanatory. Trust me.
3. You’ll feel like a mom.
Even if you manage to stay up on fashion trends and self care, you will feel like a mom when you realize it takes you either twice as long to get ready as your non mom friends. Either because there’s a crying baby or toddler who needs you to hold him while you have three minutes before you get out of the house to make it to your friends birthday party in a (somewhat) timely fashion… or because you’re so exhausted you don’t actually want to go and you need to pull yourself together to be able to change and put make up on.. either way, you’ll feel the extra effort you have to give to tasks that were otherwise so simple and straightforward.
4. You never come first. To your husband. To your parents. To your siblings. To anyone. Anymore. Everyone’s interested in your baby. Even to yourself. Your priorities will immediately shift the moment that human life becomes a part of you. They own you. Admit it. It makes it easier.
5. Happens too fast.
Hahahaha. I know every other thing I just wrote sounds like being am is horrific, and yes, there are horrific aspects of it (like not sleeping.). But once you’ve gotten over that and learned to be a functioning member of society while enjoying your kid and being mommy, your heart will literally be those little (even when they’re adults- they’ll be little to you) human souls. Their happiness will be yours. What that will awake you realize is how much you cherish every stage and moment of their lives. You’ll never want to blink so you don’t miss their new experience, or their development.
So, while being a mom is not the easiest of things, it is in fact a very rewarding experience. It’s joyful, painful and sometimes sadistic, but it is beautiful. A beauty like no other.
So, yes, there are a lot of things that are part of being a mom that you will learn firsthand – because it’s the only way- and while not all those things will be fun, it’s all a part of the journey.